Mommy Guilt: No More Excuses

"Mommy, why don't you want to come play with me?" 

I can't help but feel like this sentence is welling up inside of my baby boy when I am not actively partaking in playtime with him. I know that's a silly thing to think... right?

While we have a baby who sleeps like a dream (pun intended - ha!), we also have extremely limited nap times since he is already pretty well rested from the night. Sometimes we get lucky with a nap that lasts up to 2 hours, but usually they're about 45 minutes to an hour, max, and sometimes we get only 15 minutes at a time from our little bugger. That's leaves a lot of baby-entertainment time. 

When I am home with Asher all day, my goals are usually to get needed work done on the computer for our Etsy shop and catch up on the household chores (...laundry, dishes, wash those bottles that have been sitting for much longer than anticipated in the sink. P-Yew.), and also try to get some time in for photo editing and blog updates. But with a tireless little one at my feet, that can be a serious challenge.

I usually will play with Asher for 15-20 minutes in the morning after his bottle, then let him wind back down by watching his 'Signing Time' DVD for 45 min. before his morning nap. Sometimes, it plays twice.

Enter: Mommy Guilt. 

There is a lot of pressure on moms these days - well dads, too, for that matter. Yes, some of the pressure may be due to the modern dynamic of the household that has shifted in many homes, with moms and dads sharing workloads left and right; but a lot of it is now stemming from a social aspect - the Mommy Wars. (No, it's not a Bravo TV show - Oh, wait, yes it is.) From Pinterest to Twitter to Facebook and to, yes, mommy blogs like mine, there is this pressure to do everything perfectly, follow every guideline, "out-mom" even the most saavy mom. 

"Children under 2 should not watch TV." - every parenting source out there.

According to Time, children under age 2 will have "delayed language skills" and they say that it cuts down on "parent-child interaction". They even go as far as to warn against "secondhand TV" when your TV is playing in the background. 

When you've been talking to your baby all morning, played with him on his play mats, practiced sitting, rolling, standing, tried to get him to say "Mama" even though you know it's months away, and even gone on a fake "treasure hunt" throughout the house with your 5 month old who doesn't understand a thing but loves that you're smiling with him, all knowing that you are going to do everything YET AGAIN (and for longer) in the afternoon... IS A LITTLE DOWN TIME IN FROM OF THE TV SUCH A BAD THING? 

I digress. 

From breastfeeding, to co-sleeping, to how-much-tv-is-too-much-tv, we moms have been set up. We've been set up to feel guilty no matter how many organic vegetables we buy and wash with the plant-based cleaning solution and store in BPA-free containers in our energy efficient refrigerator. 

However, when you throw the white flag and just go on with your day, you are liberated. 

My baby watches TV when I need to get some things done around the house or get some work done on the computer. He gets a ton of parent-child interaction throughout the day. You know what, scratch that. I KNOW he gets enough interaction, and that's all that matters. No more excuses.

So, all you moms out there who feel guilty like me, who lie about that amount of time their child is watching TV or feel ashamed to admit that your are bottle feeding rather than sticking with the guidelines of the World Health Organization (who must be comprised of all females who have borne children, of course, so they KNOW what the recommendations should be and that you must be doing something wrong) - FREE YOURSELF FROM THE MOMMY GUILT AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB AND YOUR BABY WILL LOVE YOU AND DEVELOP AND GROW ACCORDINGLY EVEN IF YOU CUT CORNERS ON THE - LET'S FACE IT - SMALL STUFF.

In the meantime, I am going to work on this for myself, as well.

...and here are some more cute pictures, I am done with my rant for the day.

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8 NEW Baby Buys & Lifesaver Products

1. Latchy Catchy
I can't tell you how grateful I am to have this on our bedroom door and the door to our bathroom. We'll switch them to the nursery door and surrounding doors once we move Asher to his crib, too. You can still shut the door - but it's silent! Genius!

2. Bambino Land Burp Cloths
I have come to realize that the more absorbent burp cloths are the ones you'll reach for. These Bambino Land muslin burp cloths absorb what 3 of my other ones would! I always use these when I'm on the go.

3. Sophie the Giraffe ***with PLUSH!!!***
The plush version of the well known Sophie the Giraffe has been the 'go-to' toy. Until he's interested in really chewing on things, he much prefers the plush version. The giraffe shape makes it easy to hold and snuggle with for little ones who can't really grab very well yet, or at all. He's in love!

4. The Diaper Clutch
Just grab this little clutch out of your diaper bag for a quick run to change the baby. Unless you need an impromptu outfit change, as well, but otherwise this clutch is a cute little lifesaver!

5. BIBS
   Some babies just require bibs. Lots of bibs! See my bib post HERE.

 

Bandana bibs from Butterfly Kisses Co. on Etsy

6. Books, Books, & More Books! 
Before bedtime, when baby is a little fussy for no apparent reason (maybe bored), when you want a little extra "bonding time" - books are all around awesome to have and fun to read together! At my baby shower, we encouraged guests to give a book instead of a card (can you believe the price of cards these days??!) so that helped us get a great start to Asher's "library". Zulily also often has great package deals on unique books!

7. OBall by Rhino Toys
Little fingers can hold onto this ball long before their hands follow suit. Helps them with learning the dexterity of their fingers, too!

8. Earth's Best Nursery Wipes
Now that Asher is playing with toys more, playing in his exersaucer/jumperoo, and has his hands and mouth on everything, these wipes are a true lifesaver. They are alcohol free, non-toxic, chlorine free, hypoallergenic... the list goes on yet they still use natural cleansers and germ fighters to keep toys and surfaces safe for babies.

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Lover of the Light

...But I'd be yours, If you'd be mine

So love the one you hold

And I'll be your gold

To have and to hold

Lover of the light

~ Mumford and Sons, 'Lover of the Light'

I think of Asher every time I hear that song. I think we can deduce meanings we are looking to find when it comes to songs, poetry... they may mean one thing to one person and hold a whole different meaning to someone else. This song just makes me think of my baby boy - not all of the words, but the important ones. :)

I didn't get to making dinner yesterday. We had some family friends in town so we all got together for dinner at John's family's restaurant, San Remo, for some delicious Italian food and pizza. It was much better than anything I would have cooked up. It was a good night to skip on the meal plan considering that Tuesday's recipe was for Pesto Pasta and I can easily save the pasta noodles for later in the week. 

I have a bunch of wonderful pictures from over the weekend to share. We went to the park with our friends Shawn and Nancy who just had their baby girl 3 weeks ago. Baby Asher and baby Marley spent some quality time getting to know each other. They are to be married, after all!

I couldn't resist posting this one. It cracks me up every time I look at it!
Asher judo chops her straight in the jugular! ;) JK! He really didn't, it just looked that way on camera!

We had a great time strolling the park. Congrats again you guys!

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OTter Talk #2

I'm making myself read more. I guess that should just be read in general. It has been years (embarrassingly) since I've read on a regular basis and I really miss how I good book takes you away for a few hours. I also think that the more you read, the better you write. I'm going to give that a try and you all can report back to me if it's working. ;)

The hardest part for me is choosing a book. I judge the books by their covers, for sure, and the descriptions never do the books justice, I'm noticing. It's like I'm terrified of choosing a book that I won't like or something. Indecisiveness to the nth degree.

I bought my first digital book the other day. I was really apprehensive, but I ended up really liking the digital book option. I also like how the iPad lets you read a preview of the book before buying. That may just be the answer to my book selection dilemma.

The book I just read is The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh. I read it in 3 days. With a 4 month old. During busy season at our shop. It was that good. There were a few parts that would make a new mom slightly cringe, but it was such an amazing book and I really recommend it if you're looking for a good novel to read!

Although the iBook (eBook? Whatever.) was great, I still like the idea of reference type books in paper form. I know you can highlight and all of that in a digital book, but I think I would be more apt to go back and see what it is that I highlighted or try a certain recipe, per say, if it is a real, live book.

So, I'm on the hunt for a few new books to take me into the lives of others for a few hours during the week or for when procrastination is the next best option while Asher is sleeping.

Do you have any recommendations for good books to read? 

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iPhone Favorites & Random Thoughts

A post recapping Father's Day will be up soon, I promise! We have had one of our busiest weeks with our Etsy shop, so time has been in limited supply to say the least. We are all EXHAUSTED! We do realize how blessed we are to have a business that is growing day by day and we know all of our hard work will pay off in the end. My mom has been a tremendous help and Asher has enjoyed coming to our shop with me, too! 

HOWEVER, toting the little guy around with me like this is taking a serious toll on my back. My poor back and shoulder muscles are crying out for a break. Up - down - up - down - up - down... all day long! Who would imagine that such a small baby could wreck such havoc on one's muscles? I think I just may schedule that prenatal massage that I never had a chance to get... maybe I can trade it in for a couples massage and treat John to a late Father's Day gift, too. ;)

In addition to my ridiculously sore muscles, I think my immune system and my energy level in general are in need of a pick-me-up. I'm so pooped mentally and physically. I bright blue bruises everywhere - even on my finger (??!!) and have no idea where it came from. So, I've started on a multi-vitamin, some probiotics, am drinking an apple cider vinegar mixture each day, and am starting on a B12 supplement. We'll see if I can get back to my usual, energetic self. I will try to talk John into letting me get a Treadmill if I can find a good deal on Craigslist or something... Some exercise would probably provide a much needed energy lift. If anyone has any suggestions for boosting energy for new moms, I'm all ears!!

Next up will be revamping my eating habits, which are admittedly awful from time to time. It's difficult to eat very healthfully when I am home alone with Asher at night. I'm usually heating up a frozen Kashi meal and calling it a day. Once he is on solids, things will need to change. One thing at a time, though, so I will revisit this later..

Today, I am leaving you with my recent iPhone Favorites! I had over 400 pictures on my phone and had to clear them all out so I can continue to take pics! Here are my favs...

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10 Fingers, 10 Toes

There are things in life that we take for granted. Many of us tend to get sidetracked from the simple yet valuable aspects of our lives and are distracted by day to day annoyances and trivial things that seem so important while they are happening.

I ran across another mother's blog today about her baby who had a terminal illness and didn't live past age 2. He would have been 4 just a few days ago.

Reading the story of this brave mom and her precious child brought me to tears and made me think about how grateful I am to have a healthy baby. I don't think this is something we actively think about enough. When you are pregnant or when your baby is just born, you say and others will say to you, "Just happy and healthy, that's all we're hoping for!", or "10 fingers and 10 toes!", but I think many of us don't even grasp the reality that a baby of good health really IS something to be hopeful and incredibly thankful for.

I don't know what I would do if I was unable to watch my baby grow and smile and laugh and learn… I can't even imagine it. I don't want to imagine it. I can only hope that I would have the same incredible strength that these admirable parents exhibit on a day-to-day basis if I was ever faced with such a life altering challenge. I pray that I would. I don't think I would have much choice.

I love my baby more than any words I could conjure up to try and describe. I am so thankful for him everyday, every minute, every second. I love him and am thankful for him when he is overtired and cranky and just needs a good cry. I love him and am thankful for him when he spits up all over me, the couch, the floor, the dog. I love him and am thankful for him when I have only had 3 hours of sleep. I love him and and thankful for him when I just can't figure out if he needs dairy milk or soy milk and won't sleep because of gas pains or that his hiccups just won't go away. I love him and am thankful for him during the hardest of times that we've had, which, let's face it, are nothing compared to what they could be.

Asher, baby, you are my life and my heart. I love you more than you will ever know. I love your smile and the squint that your eyes get when something is so funny to you that you just can't smile big enough. I love that you are here and that you are happy. I hope that I make you proud that I am your mommy and I know that you have and always will make me proud that you are my son. I hope you reach your every goal and every dream. I hope you live your life to the fullest and love with all of your heart. You are my baby and I am so thankful to have you, all of you, every day. You can count on me to stick with you through the thickest of thick and the thinnest of thin. That's what moms are for.



I want to share the blog that touched me so deeply and inspired me to write this. I can't even begin to imagine how it would feel to go through such a painful experience and I pray for this and any mother…or father, grandparent, brother, sister, friend… that has to, as well. Moms, be grateful for your healthy child. We are so lucky. Kiss them, hug them, tell them you love them. It's too easy to cry over spilled milk.

Here is the story of baby Tripp who was born with Epidermolysis Bullosa and his incredibly brave, incredibly strong, and admirable beyond words mother who is now and forever in my prayers.

http://randycourtneytripproth.blogspot.com/p/tripps-story.html

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