Mommy Guilt: No More Excuses

"Mommy, why don't you want to come play with me?" 

I can't help but feel like this sentence is welling up inside of my baby boy when I am not actively partaking in playtime with him. I know that's a silly thing to think... right?

While we have a baby who sleeps like a dream (pun intended - ha!), we also have extremely limited nap times since he is already pretty well rested from the night. Sometimes we get lucky with a nap that lasts up to 2 hours, but usually they're about 45 minutes to an hour, max, and sometimes we get only 15 minutes at a time from our little bugger. That's leaves a lot of baby-entertainment time. 

When I am home with Asher all day, my goals are usually to get needed work done on the computer for our Etsy shop and catch up on the household chores (...laundry, dishes, wash those bottles that have been sitting for much longer than anticipated in the sink. P-Yew.), and also try to get some time in for photo editing and blog updates. But with a tireless little one at my feet, that can be a serious challenge.

I usually will play with Asher for 15-20 minutes in the morning after his bottle, then let him wind back down by watching his 'Signing Time' DVD for 45 min. before his morning nap. Sometimes, it plays twice.

Enter: Mommy Guilt. 

There is a lot of pressure on moms these days - well dads, too, for that matter. Yes, some of the pressure may be due to the modern dynamic of the household that has shifted in many homes, with moms and dads sharing workloads left and right; but a lot of it is now stemming from a social aspect - the Mommy Wars. (No, it's not a Bravo TV show - Oh, wait, yes it is.) From Pinterest to Twitter to Facebook and to, yes, mommy blogs like mine, there is this pressure to do everything perfectly, follow every guideline, "out-mom" even the most saavy mom. 

"Children under 2 should not watch TV." - every parenting source out there.

According to Time, children under age 2 will have "delayed language skills" and they say that it cuts down on "parent-child interaction". They even go as far as to warn against "secondhand TV" when your TV is playing in the background. 

When you've been talking to your baby all morning, played with him on his play mats, practiced sitting, rolling, standing, tried to get him to say "Mama" even though you know it's months away, and even gone on a fake "treasure hunt" throughout the house with your 5 month old who doesn't understand a thing but loves that you're smiling with him, all knowing that you are going to do everything YET AGAIN (and for longer) in the afternoon... IS A LITTLE DOWN TIME IN FROM OF THE TV SUCH A BAD THING? 

I digress. 

From breastfeeding, to co-sleeping, to how-much-tv-is-too-much-tv, we moms have been set up. We've been set up to feel guilty no matter how many organic vegetables we buy and wash with the plant-based cleaning solution and store in BPA-free containers in our energy efficient refrigerator. 

However, when you throw the white flag and just go on with your day, you are liberated. 

My baby watches TV when I need to get some things done around the house or get some work done on the computer. He gets a ton of parent-child interaction throughout the day. You know what, scratch that. I KNOW he gets enough interaction, and that's all that matters. No more excuses.

So, all you moms out there who feel guilty like me, who lie about that amount of time their child is watching TV or feel ashamed to admit that your are bottle feeding rather than sticking with the guidelines of the World Health Organization (who must be comprised of all females who have borne children, of course, so they KNOW what the recommendations should be and that you must be doing something wrong) - FREE YOURSELF FROM THE MOMMY GUILT AND REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB AND YOUR BABY WILL LOVE YOU AND DEVELOP AND GROW ACCORDINGLY EVEN IF YOU CUT CORNERS ON THE - LET'S FACE IT - SMALL STUFF.

In the meantime, I am going to work on this for myself, as well.

...and here are some more cute pictures, I am done with my rant for the day.

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Conquering Spit-Up Fashionably PART 1

We deal with a lot of spit-up. A lot. A lot, a lot. We've tried to find a rhyme or reason, some kind of method to this madness... but there really isn't much of a pattern other than a lot of spit-up, all the time. There are days when I can lay Asher down after a feeding and he is fine. Actually this happens quite often. He spits-up whether he is held upright or is in a sitting or laying position. Off and on, he spits-up immediately after eating and in-between them. He'll spit-up when he's overwhelmed - but sometimes he's totally fine. The only difference is the spit-up itself with different formulas. We've been through so many and it's pretty consistent in quantity and frequency. At least with his new formula, his spit-up isn't all acidic, curdled milk; that's a plus. 

So, when dealing with a baby who spits up a lot, you NEED to use bibs or you will find yourself changing their outfit umpteen million times a day. Ugh. Bibs.

I used to hate baby bibs. I even wondered to myself in those early days with this sweet, new baby eating from his bottle so delicately in my arms, "Why do these baby outfits all come with ugly bibs? Who would ruin the cuteness of the outfit with a BIB??" Now I know.

We only had 5 or so bibs until a few weeks ago. Don't even ask me how I did it. I don't know. 

"This bib? THIS BIB?? Mommy, you CRAZY!"

In an effort to save a little, I bought 2 packs of 10 bibs that were $10/each at Target. They aren't the cutest bibs in the world, but I needed something and fast. They work well during feedings, but they aren't nearly thick enough for our in-between spit-up occurrences. Asher laughs in the face of those bibs between his feedings. "HAHAHA!" Squashes them like bugs. Or maybe floods them like bugs, rather. I may just double up on them until he grows out of this problem. 

Lucky for us, I have come up with some other options that better fit our "bib criteria" and also are more fashionable! 

My Bib Criteria:

• CUTE
• THICK/ABSORBANT
• DURABLE TO WITHSTAND MANY WASHES

{Of course, with any bib you don't want to let your child sleep or nap with it on.} 

ZULILY SALE / Electrik Kidz - Bandana Style Bibs with Pacifier Loop

I got these super cute bibs from a Zulily sale featuring the brand Electrik Kidz. They're so adorable and also reversible, so they will work with many of different outfits. They seemed to be more targeted towards drool rather than spit-up, but Asher tested out the nautical anchor one just moments after snapping the last picture of him wearing it. It did the job!

LE PETITE BIRDIE - Stylish Boutique Bibs

I purchased these baby bibs from an Etsy seller, Le Petite Birdie. So far so good. They are lined with fleece to wick away the moisture. I'm honestly not sure how that works since it's on the back of the bib and I thought that moisture still would soak through while the fleece still feels dry... but I must be wrong, because these have been protecting Asher's outfits beneath them quite well. I don't understand the concept of a "stay-dry" fleece liner in a cloth diaper now.... Some serious 'Google-ing' is about to take place! Regardless, every time he wears one of these bibs, he gets compliments. In particular, the sock monkey patterned one has been a real hit!

I have some more bibs on their way, a few SCARF STYLE ones from another Etsy seller. Until those arrive and I've had a chance to try them out, this post is officially...

 To be continued...

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Baby Feeding Schedule - 4 Months

We are truly blessed to have a baby who sleeps 12-13 hours straight throughout the night at 4 months old. Being exclusively formula fed may be a contributing factor; but even so, I have been told time and time again just how incredibly lucky we are. (Knock on wood.)

I love waking up to the rustling sound of Asher having his morning stretch in his co-cleeper then looking over to see his his freshly awoken smile illuminated by the early morning light. His eyes are always directed straight at me as if to say, "Good morning, Mommy! Let's have breakfast, shall we?" Sometimes it's more of a, "Feed me NOW or someone is going to get hurt!!!" Even then, I can't complain since it's always after at least a 12 hour stretch of sleep for him and 6-8 hours or so for me. (Both John and I have a bad habit of going to bed late. In our defense, "me time" can be just as important as sleep!)

It's amazing to have such a sound sleeper, however, this also can make it difficult to make sure Asher gets enough to eat throughout the day without having some sort of a nap and/or feeding schedule in place. Mostly, it is becoming more difficult due to our current 'Super-Spitter-Upper' situation. One hopeful solution to lessening the outpour of spit-up may be allowing him smaller portions, more often, like when he was younger. Except now, we have to squeeze that into the 11-12 hour time frame that he is awake sans the 2-3 hours of nap time strewn throughout the day! We're averaging at about 22-24 oz of formula per day right now, but I think that he could definitely eat more if we plan it right with a feeding schedule. According to the formula serving chart, we should be at about 30-35 oz a day between 3-6 months. He is gaining weight steadily, thriving and growing and I know some babies need more than others... but I at least want to give Asher the opportunity to eat as much as he may need just in case he isn't getting quite enough.

So, I think a flexible feeding and nap schedule will be a nice addition to our chaotic day to day. Here's what I'm thinking (times approximate and feeding amounts to fit the pattern we've been seeing with what he can normally handle without too much spit-up):

BOTTLE & NAP SCHEDULE - 4 MONTHS

8:00am - 1st bottle 5-6 oz
10:00am - 2nd bottle 2-4 oz
10:30 - nap (45 min - 2 hour)
12:30 - 3rd bottle 5-6 oz
3:30 - 4th bottle 2-4 oz
4:30 - nap (45 min - 1.5 hour)
5:30 - 5th bottle 4-6 oz
7:00 - bath
7:30 - 6th and last bottle 4-6 oz
8:00pm - bedtime!

On any given day he can eat between 22 and 32 ounces with this feeding schedule depending on how hungry he is. Most likely it will be closer to 25 for awhile. But at least we'll be offering him more if he wants it! This is sort of how it goes now - just usually without the pre-morning nap bottle. I think this schedule will help us get just enough more in each day. Sometimes he falls asleep during that last bottle, too, only getting in 2 ounces if we're lucky.

The nap times and lengths tend to vary, especially on days that we are not at home, whether I have him with me to work at the shop or if we are out and about for any other reason. So this is definitely meant to be a SOFT schedule with a lot of flexibility, but at least it gives us a general guideline to work with. I say us, but I guess I mostly mean me.

For now, we'll see how this goes. I know that 4 months is the peak age of spit-up amount and occurrences, but if we can reduce it as much as possible while also ensuring this little guy is getting his fill, that will help save my sanity on laundry days!

Here are more fun pictures from our 4 month photo shoot in his 4 month onesie.

Adore!

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